My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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