Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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