His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
