i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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