i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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