I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
