Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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