I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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