I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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