Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
