she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
