i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
