Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
