Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
