my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just puked most of my soul out..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
