And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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