I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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