Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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