I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
