some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You pole danced in your parka.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
