i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
