Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
