my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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