So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
