If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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