They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
