1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize