she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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