I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
