I skipped work to stalk him.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
