My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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