I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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