Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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