is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?