just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?