Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
