I hate your face
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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