sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
