Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
