I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
