I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize