i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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