it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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