jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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