i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
and you said cock pushups were impossible
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
