i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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