the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize