She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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