Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
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There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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