Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
