I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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