So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
