I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
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You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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