i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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