ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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