Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
