i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
