Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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