I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize