Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
