I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
