Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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